Lil Big Boy

Little boy is sick again, some stomach virus, the same one My David had at the end of last week. On top of that allergies have been driving us crazy it’s been just warm enough to have tree pollen and not warm enough to turn the heaters off. I’m dreading how ever long he’s going to be home for this one. He already doesn’t want to go to school and every time he has a break or gets sick it’s worse trying to get him to go back.
I had an I.E.P. for him last week it totally drained me and accomplished nothing. The teacher doesn’t want to add gross motor to his qualifications for special ed and doesn’t want to do physiological evaluations until just before he starts Kindergarten so about a year from now. She’s still saying she doesn’t see any signs of anxiety with Lil Boy.
I have another person that works with him we are going to do a Deca test, social/emotional test, so we have that to bring to the school district. Then we can get the ball rolling on switching him to the other local school district. I’ve been told they only take kids from my school district the qualify for more than speech.
I also have the lovely job of finding a pediatrician for Lil Boy so he can have his hearing tested and I can prove that there is nothing wrong with it. He doesn’t answer when the teacher calls his name, to me that is a big alarm, but she thinks he needs his hearing checked. I also have to get him back to the ENT to say whether his speech delay is due to his tonsils being large. I have to wait until he’s not sick or allergic to do that because every time I’ve taken him to the doctor, the doctor would blame the large tonsils on him being sick.

The good news is he’s making good progress in Speech and fine motor. He’s no longer holding the crayons like he’s going to kill the paper. Except when he  is trying to kill the paper. Also he knows his name and can recognize it in print.

I need to get me in too because all of this stress has me pulling my hair out and I need something. Also, I’m going to try to get my drivers license and need something for that anxiety too. For anybody that doesn’t know I hate driving, have been frightened of it since I was a little girl and have never had a license.

Off topic My David is Autistic and he knows it. We were watching a news program about new findings with Autism and he said “I’m Autistic”


The Princess and the Pea (sort of)

Last night when I laid down for bed my son was in the middle of the bed which left me a small place on either side of him. I wasn’t annoyed this is common place for when a child has climbed into my bed. Most people with experience in restless kids know where ever the fall asleep you leave them or risk waking them which will undoubtedly lead to them not wanting to go back to sleep for a while. At which point they will fall asleep and end up somewhere else you preferred them not to sleep at like with their head at the foot of the bed. So I’m trying to go to sleep in my little allotted space, but am tossing and turning. My side hurt I thought it was just the sheet bunching up, but I try to straiten it out and yet still feel like I’m sleeping with a boulder under my side. I reach under the sheet to discover one of my son’s candies from earlier he must have been saving it for later. Even with it moved I’m pretty sure there must be a bruise or something where I was laying on it. I always knew I must be a princess it took a 3 year old to help me validate that I’m really a princess. The self rescuing, kick butt, can make my own dinner kind of princess but none the less.


“I don’t like to sleep it’s too boring.” my little boy’s new favorite bed time saying. “I don’t want to go to school I’m tired!” his new morning saying.

My little boy was sick, 2 different illnesses 2 weeks of sleeping all day and not having to get up early for school. I knew it would be hard to get him back on schedule, but never expected this total revolt. I thought when he fell asleep at 8 o’clock  that we were back to normal, but that was a big joke on Mama. He woke up 2 hours later rejuvenated and ready to fight any efforts to make him sleep the rest of the night.

I’ve tried all of the tricks in my bag. He had a bath, sleepy time lotion which I hadn’t stooped to for at least a year now. Warm milk, comfy pajamas, a book or 12. I let him cuddle on the couch and watch cartoons even though my shows were on, but sleep was no where in sight. I kept him up during the day just one short nap which he always has. He finally goes to sleep after midnight only to wake up twice, I’m thinking night mares, and he sits up in bed until I convince him that he’s safe then he lays back down.

Meanwhile no sleep for Little Boy means no sleep for Mama! I didn’t even get a nap because I was busy grocery shopping while he was napping!  I’m a well known coffee drinker insomniac, but I haven’t been this sleep deprived since he was an infant. I’m not sure I awake enough for the day long fight, him fighting with My David, Little Pop Star and everybody else that so much as looks at him. He wouldn’t eat dinner last night either because he was to cranky to eat.

When asked if he had a good day at school he replied “No I don’t like school! I watch cartoons?” Back to the battle he has to give in eventually right?!


He is now going to bed when he’s supposed to, then waking up at 2 am crying to watch cartoons, it takes about a half hour to get him back to sleep. I may never have another full nights sleep : (


It’s coming, my baby girl is turning nine in a few days.

My life has changed so much since I was pregnant with her. I was nineteen, newly married and blinded by love. We had just moved into our first place, I spent my days while my husband was working reading, watching t.v. and sitting around. I went to classes at night twice a week, my husband didn’t like it he wanted me home whenever he was home. Not only didn’t I work , but I didn’t even have plans to work. My dad would send me money every month, he bought me a car for a wedding present, he was always doing things like that. I was the princess of my family. I was very happy to be pregnant and more so when I found out I was having a girl. I cried so hard when the ultrasound tech told me she thought I was upset. I had a million plans for what I wanted for my little girl.

When Little Pop Star was born, on Thanksgiving Day, she became my world. My husband was jealous of the time I spent with her and my mom, but I had always gotten my way so I dismissed his feelings. He drove my car drunk my dad said that he would take the car back (it was still in his name and he was still paying for it) so then he couldn’t drive it. He lost his job and after a few weeks my dad said he wouldn’t pay the bills anymore unless my husband got a job or moved out. LPS was 3 months old when he moved out of state to live with his dad.

We talked on the phone all of the time the plan was supposed to be for me to move out of state to where he was but it never happened. Meanwhile my dad was diagnosed with cancer and me my mom and Little Pop Star went to his house for a month. When I thought he was getting better we left. LPS had just turned a year old and we went to my husband’s family’s house for a month. He wanted me to stay, but I didn’t fit in there and he still wasn’t going to be able to move us into our own place so I came back home. A few months later I found out my dad wasn’t going to get better. We went to see him again and I couldn’t look at him without crying, he was such a strong man and he was wasting away.

After he passed away something broke inside me and my mom. She moved in with me and my husband came back to live with us. I got pregnant with My David right away. He kept bouncing from job to job and we were getting evicted. Me and him got in a big argument where I was so upset I was scared that David would be hurt. I was 7 months pregnant and had no where to live, me , my mom and LPS moved in with a friend of mine. My husband wasn’t there when My David was born. I ended the relationship then.

I won’t get into all the David stuff right now because this isn’t really about his young life. We moved to my sister’s house and then into an apartment in her area. Diana loved her brother when he was a little baby. I went to work which was quite a shock for her, I was working 40 hours a week until My David was 11 months and we moved back to MI.

Shorthly after moving back to MI I fell into a serious relationship or I should probably say was pushed into. I wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but the kids and my mom loved him. I did too it just took me a little longer we were already living together before I said “I love you”. My kids started calling him daddy or Dada in David’s case. We didn’t really have enough to build a relationship on and split up after 6 months of living together my kids were crushed. They went from being his kids to just some kids of his ex it was devastating. I did think we would get back together on better ground once, that is how I ended up with my youngest. He doesn’t see him or acknowledge him as his son. So now my little girl has grown thus far with no real daddy and I worry how this will affect her in the future.

For right now she knows that there is somebody out there who is her father and she doesn’t want to see or speak to him. She does show interest in his family and her sister from him. She has talked to her sister and seen pictures.

She’s turning nine and it scares me that she is so grown. It also makes me feel my age it has hit me this year. It makes me feel even more that I need to hold onto these days while she’s young and still wants to be around her mom. It seems I’ve missed to much already being in my own world and being so wrapped up with her brothers. I didn’t get the girl I thought I wanted what I got was better.

Cable For Christmas

I was watching my son learn Mandarin from a cartoon and started thinking about all my kids have learned from these shows. When I was a kid Mandarin was just a type of orange, I also thought Chinese people spoke Chinese and Mexicans spoke Mexican.

It started early my kids learned words in English, French, Spanish, Mandarin and even American Sign language. Even I learned more from these shows than I learned in middle and high school Spanish class. They learned colors, my son even named he red puppy Rojo, which is red in Spanish. They also learned how to group things by color. They learned shapes, I think I only knew the basic ones going into Kindergarten, I still have to think hard about which is the hexagon. From there they began to identify numbers and letters. Then my little ones even figured out how to put the shapes, letters and numbers into patterns. It doesn’t even stop with general learning, the characters have problems where they have to make friends, make up with friends and even talk to adults they don’t know. Not to mention the problem solving skills they learn. I wish I could explain how important that is for an Autistic child. My kids also have interest that I wouldn’t even know where to start teaching them about it. My boys like cars, trains and dinosaurs. My extent of knowledge is on short supply there. I think I knew 6 types of dinosaurs before. My daughter likes to learn about wild animals and foreign lands. All that I know about those things are from books I read as a child and television shows that I currently watch.

So maybe cable should be part of my educational budget what do you think. The kids have enough books, they are falling off the shelves. Their toy boxes are over flowing so maybe for Christmas Santa could help with the cable bill.

Love life with mamaundun

A friend asked me today if I missed having a love life. It’s not that I wouldn’t consider getting involved with somebody, but it’s not like they are banging on the door. They would have to for me to even meet somebody, unless they ask me out at the store or the kids school. Also, the whole “going out” thing has changed. It’s hard enough to get a babysitter when I really need one. How am I supposed to date? It would take somebody pretty special or crazy to want to come into this family and it’s a whole package. So yes I do miss it sometimes cry over it and have anxiety over getting older and being alone, that 30 birthday isn’t far off. Is it even fair to ask somebody to deal with all of this ASD and ready made family?

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