Dreams and Wishes

I used to be a girl full of dreams of were my life would be and places I would go. When I was a child I dreamed of being a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys. I dreamed of being a famous singer, of having the largest private library in the world.

I fell in love all of the time. I loved the new toy. I loved my pets. I loved my friends. I had crushes that changed every few weeks. I dreamed of the fairy tail love and the dream wedding.

I wrote poetry about nature and love.

Now I’m grown (I hope) and my dreams and wishes are much different. I’m unrecognizable to that little girl that I was. All of my dreams surround my children.

I wish that my daughter doesn’t get held back by our financial difficulties. I wish that she will find somebody that really love her and that she won’t make the mistakes I made being in love with love. I hope that not having a dad in her life doesn’t affect her to badly. I hope she is successful and that even when she fails she keeps trying.

I hope that My David is healthy and that he makes friends. I hope that he grows to have independence not just for me, but so that if something happens to me he’ll be able to provide for himself. I wish that he’ll have love because no matter his differences his heart is big and his love is pure.

I hope that Kory will start to like school and value his eduction. I hope that he works hard a become the kind of man a mother can be proud of. I hope that he treats women in the way a real man should. I wish him to not grow to hate his other side of his for not acknowledging him and that they can someday have a relationship.

I wish for me to have a way to provide for my kids in the years to come and that even when they are grown if they need help that I will be able to be there. I wish that someday I will find somebody who can be the dad that they need because even though I try I know it’s not the same. I hope that my dad is looking down on me and is proud of what I’m doing and that he will stay in my heart to guide me. I hope that my mom will stay around a long time and that when she does leave this world it doesn’t break me  because I’m all my kids have.

I hope that everybody that reads this takes away something good from it.


The Princess and the Pea (sort of)

Last night when I laid down for bed my son was in the middle of the bed which left me a small place on either side of him. I wasn’t annoyed this is common place for when a child has climbed into my bed. Most people with experience in restless kids know where ever the fall asleep you leave them or risk waking them which will undoubtedly lead to them not wanting to go back to sleep for a while. At which point they will fall asleep and end up somewhere else you preferred them not to sleep at like with their head at the foot of the bed. So I’m trying to go to sleep in my little allotted space, but am tossing and turning. My side hurt I thought it was just the sheet bunching up, but I try to straiten it out and yet still feel like I’m sleeping with a boulder under my side. I reach under the sheet to discover one of my son’s candies from earlier he must have been saving it for later. Even with it moved I’m pretty sure there must be a bruise or something where I was laying on it. I always knew I must be a princess it took a 3 year old to help me validate that I’m really a princess. The self rescuing, kick butt, can make my own dinner kind of princess but none the less.

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